A) buy his jersey. B) buy his bobble-head doll. C) buy his Fathead. D) never again clown on Brown. E) ask myself 54 times "What can Brown do for you?" F) reassure myself that he does, in fact, know the triangle. G) host the first annual "Kwame Brown Bake-A-Cake-And-Throw-It Event" at Hermosa Beach every January 13th of every year until he gets traded again. H) name the basketball court down the street "Brickhouse" in honor of Kwame. I) give him a standing ovation every time he enters the game. J) create a custom T-Shirt that has a photo of Kwame on the front and his famous quote on the back: "But this is America. You shouldn't be arguing about cake." and K) call my peeps at Nickelodeon and tell them to create a new sports-themed animated series called SpongeBrown NoHands (I'm sure you can visualize it). And then contact...
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