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Wednesday's football transfer rumours - Mark Hughes to buy everyone?

Today's nonsense is sick of screwdrivers The state of the British transfer market today. Photograph: Graham Turner/Guardian The Mill spent much of last night trying to put sprocket joint A into biscuit join B, while making sure to hold dougong F upside down long enough for splice Z3 to hold mortise and tenon X4 in place. If this is the flat-pack revolution, the Mill wants to know what was wrong with the old regime. Still, it has at least provided us with a clumsy intro to today's rumours - if you'll stick with us as we try to nail down an extremely tenuous DIY furniture riff with a striker-shortage one. Manchester City boss Mark Hughes has had a look at the new wardrobe he's been handed and found it's missing several vital parts. He'll have a quick root around in the skip in which he ditched the old one in the hope of fishing... [read full story]                    

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