My wife and I always go swimming on a Friday. Nothing too hard just a mile or so; recently however I have noticed that there has been a change in the demographic at our local pool. Teenagers! Bloody splashing teenagers! Actually we don't mind the splashing teenagers so much as we aren't one of those types of swimmers who don't like to like to get their hair wet. The teenagers that I have an issue with are those who use the pool as a fashion show. Strutting down the site of the pool in bikinis and shorts with crazy, wild patterns. The men's shorts, or rather boys shorts run down to their ankles and the ladies bikinis barley cover.







Still I suppose it could be worse I suppose, we could be walking down the Copacabana beach where it really is a fashion show. I could be on a perfectly lovely holiday to Brazil, only for it to be ruined by some hairy half man, half gorilla with a perm wearing a red Speedo thong with a floozies by his side wearing a micro bikini.







I think my question for all you good, honest telegraph readers is this - how do I get my dear wife to wear an itsy bitsy bikini?

At the Coca, Copacabana