Sure we do. We're getting a stinky -
Posted on 05/13/2008 4:52:45 AM PDT by COUNTrecount
O.K., you Wingnuts, listen up. I think I’ve got the solution for what ails you if you really want to win in November: Dump McCain and nominate Hillary.
I’ll let that sink in for a moment. . . .
Right — as I was saying: dump McCain and nominate Hillary for president, running on the Republican ticket. You know you want to. You know you’d love to. So just do it. Si, se puede!
First of all, it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch. After all, the beautiful, smart, attractive woman you so lovingly refer to as the Beast was, in her youth, a Goldwater girl, so it would just be getting back to her roots anyway. For another, the 2000 Democrat candidate for vice president, Holy Joe Lamont Lieberman, has effectively crossed over already, “morally” voting with Bush on the war and then opposing him on everything else that really matters, including control of the Senate. Of course, that would have required real courage and a willingness to face the consequences, such as never being invited on the Imus in the Morning radio show again.
Second, she’s already running as a Republican. She’s out there every day, hammering away at my guy, BO, doing the work the Republican candidate just won’t do. Why, the just other day she complained that if the party of Slavery, Segregation, Secularism, and Sedition followed the same rules as the party of Lincoln, she’d already have won. How much more GOP can you get? And since she has no principles other than the will to power, it would easy for her to make the switch. Call it Operation Chaos in reverse. How do you like them apples, Rush?!
And in any case, you already have a Lefty running for president. John McCain doesn’t give a rat’s patootie about conservatives; he’s too busy expiating the original sin of the Keating Five, abrogating the First Amendment in cahoots with his buddy Russ Feingold, and stabbing Bush in the back whenever it suits his, or Howard Fineman’s, or E. J. Dionne’s, or Evan Thomas’s fancy. Since he already owes you a grand total of freak-all, why would he help you on the off chance he actually gets elected? Which, let’s face it, he won’t.
I mean, get real: He’s old, he’s weird, he’s married to a Stepford Wife who won’t release her tax returns (why — in case America finds out just how profitable beer is?). Plus he’ll nominate some clueless midwestern white guy nobody’s ever heard of as veep, and that will be that. Sure, you Baby Boomers have some vague memory of Vietnam, how you heroically dodged the draft in Canada, smoked dope and had sex for peace and blew up a townhouse or two in Greenwich Village, but for my generation, “Hey, hey LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?” is an ancient as “54-40 or fight,” whatever that was. By the time this election is over, McCain will be lucky to get Bob Dole’s gig as the senior-citizen vet, hawking Viagra, and the clueless white guy will join the ranks of Henry Cabot Lodge and William E. Miller.
No, you’re not going to be able to beat Bambi. Yes, he’s an arrogant, cocksure, elitist affirmative-action baby, the product of a lifetime of leftist indoctrination, seething with resentment at a racially segregated society he’s only ever heard about in the one or two times in 20 years he actually attended Rev. Wright’s church. He’s Gramsci’s long march through the institutions come to life: the new Soviet Man, American-style: the change we have been waiting for. He could name Wright or Bill Ayers as his veep and he’d still win.
So Hillary’s your only hope. You lost the Congress and you stand to lose more seats this fall in both houses. Thanks to McCain and the Gang of 14, you lost your shot at getting your judges confirmed when the confirming was good. That fifth vote on the Supreme Court is going to elude you forever, and when Obama says he’s going to appoint justices like Ginsberg, Breyer, and (just to be non-partisan) Souter, he means it.
Just look at the tatters of your “conservative” movement. Rush can’t stop reading his press clips; his radio show has become the equivalent of Lenny Bruce reading from his trial transcripts while the paying public heads for the exits. The once-formidable Bill O’Reilly hawks his Factor gear, boasts about his tax bracket and embarrasses himself every time he talks about pop culture; a show that was once as much fun to watch as a bullfight with a naked matador has devolved into a circle of sycophantic adulation, with Geraldo Rivera appearing periodically as the designated “sparring partner.” Newt Gingrich has gone from visionary to blowhard, whose legacy will eventually boil down to this: bested by Bill Clinton in hand-to-hand combat and forced to give up his seat. And Bush is a spent force, whose last remaining order of business is passing Harry Truman’s record-low opinion polls before he leaves office.
Give it up and embrace your destiny. Go with a proven winner, a gal too dumb to know when she’s beat, a tough broad who takes a licking and keeps on ticking. You think she’s not going to use Obama’s youth, inexperience, Chicago dirt, nutty pastor, and Mad Bomber buddy against him? Hillary Rodham Clinton reminds me of Robert Ryan in The Set-Up, about a fighter who refuses to take a dive in a fixed fight and decks his much younger opponent, thus incurring the wrath of a gangster who breaks his hand in retaliation. But so what — he still has his dignity.
And that’s what Hillary has, in spades. So maybe a better comparison is Jake La Motta, in Raging Bull, getting pounded by Sugar Ray Robinson but refusing to quit, taunting Robinson at the end that he never knocked him off his feet: you never got me down, Ray. She’s that kind of girl.
So go ahead: Just do it. You’ll be glad you did. And so will we.
Mrs. Clinton still has time to repent and come to Jesus, for the silent majority is NOT a small majority at all.
I like it.
The problem with McCain is that we really have no idea what we are getting and that stinks. I will vote for John of course but only to stop Mugabe or the Beast.
Hillary and ‘dignity’ don’t go together.
That's the ticket! Let's show the lefties that we can do the American Imperialism thingee!
But such a tough choice... BO..Hillary.. both are about American Imperialism, on full display, and at their most rudimentary.
And Joe has never shown any real courage.....
Sure we do. We're getting a stinky -
DemocRATS....the party of Slavery, Segregation, Secularism, and Sedition
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But here's one they might like!
It goes like this:
Hillary announces that she is and has always been a Conservative Republican (note her Goldwater Girl days) and, all along, has been a Trojan Horse, infiltrating the Democrat Camp as a saboteur.
With all the dirt she's got on McCain, she can easily persuade him to hand over his delegates and give her the Republican nomination for the Presidency.
She announces that her first act as President will be to indict Bill Clinton for obstruction of justice, intimidation of witnesses, perjury, rape, sexual assault, and a bunch of other crimes that nobody knows about. Conviction will be a cinch.
She also promises to prosecute Sandy Berger and most of the Democrat Congresspersons in Washington, as well as the five Supreme Court "Justices" who handed down the Kelo decision, on criminal charges that she knows about but the rest of us don't. She claims that her FBI files alone--not to mention all the other dirt the Clinton Machine has gathered--are plenty ample to send 'em all up the river for good and clean up Washington!
(Already the Republicans are listening.)
She can also dispatch the Democrat Party leaders and their operatives and wipe out that nefarious Party once and for all!
(Now the Republicans are all ears!)
She claims that she has always been an Archcapitalist (note her talent for cattle futures investment!) (and her accumulation of well over $100,000,000 since "leaving office") and will immediately revoke the capital gains tax, the death tax, and all corporate taxes--thus sending the U.S. economy SOARING over all the rest of the world!
(The Republicans are cheering!) (I'm the one cheering the loudest!)
She adds that she will put an end to the Litigation Crisis, abolish the Trial Lawyers association and their lobby, and send John Edwards to the hoosegow!
(Republican enthusiasm is now WILD!)
Her plan for Health Care Reform is to end the Malpractice Crisis! Insurance Companies will know how to budget for malpractice claims. Doctors will know that their insurance will cover them and will be affordable. Doctors, hospitals, the entire industry will bring prices down to a level that everyone can afford! Health care will be once more affordable!
(The AMA endorses Hillary!)
She claims she will abolish the nefarious "Environment Protection Laws"--especially those that limit private property rights--and immediatly begin drilling for and processing U.S. domestic oil!
The Republicans are crazed with enthusiasm! They are carrying her around on their shoulders! I'm the one with the microphone screaming: "Hillary for President! She's our girl! Rah! Rah! Rah!
ALL IS FORGIVEN!
Hillary is elected REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT OF THE U.S.A. BY A LANDSLIDE!!!!!
THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!
HOW ABOUT IT HILLARY?!!!!!!!
Yes we do. No point being in denial about it.
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